e-Stabbing @ Work

This seems to happen quite often in the workplace. Someone e-mails a coworker. The coworker does not respond as the Sender desires, disagrees or the request is ignored, declined or denied. Let the e-stabbing begin!

Back in the day, folks had to deal with personality or operational conflicts in person. If they didn’t want to got that route, they complained to a supervisor — again, in person. Or they simply talked about the other person behind their back around the water cooler.

Now, boldness increases when safely behind these screens. The requester now sends a demanding or sometimes accusatory e-mail about why their request was not met the way they desired and they proceed to scold the recipient but this time Cc:s a list of other coworkers they think will step in and force the coworker to comply – or expose them for what they are.

What is unbeknown to the sender is more times than not the one who gets exposed for what they are is actually the e-stabber. Even if the recipient is somehow guilty of a short fall, in a business environment, communication and teamwork are key. These type of tactics do not encourage that nor do they reflect the Sender’s ability to play nice with others.

If you are on the receiving end of an e-stabber; take the high-ground. Most likely it is the other person who will end up looking petty in the process. Never bring in a bunch of folks after a conversation is underway because you cannot deal with a difference of opinion or are not getting the results you desired. If that is the case — pick up the phone, go to their cubicle, make an effort to ensure there is no misunderstanding and work things out!

When on the receiving end of an e-stabbing email where others are Cc:’d after the fact as an attempt to bully or expose the conversation to others, reply back to the Sender alone with your reply. If your supervisors were Cc:’d on the diatribe, show your professionalism and go to them directly to explain the situation in person.

When coworkers use these type of unprofessional tactics, do not stoop to their level by responding in kind. Leave them “out there” with these type of actions and let others come to their own conclusions about who behaved properly or not. Put it behind you and if it comes up, voice your opinion in a calm and unemotional manner.

When you Cc: others midway in a conversation, you need to be very careful of your motives. Many times if it is purely for CYA or to boost one side of an argument count on it backfiring and you being the one who looks trivial.

Have you been e-stabbed? What did you do?