Don’t Overreact Based on Assumptions

I post allot about my experiences with other onliners so as to share how e-mail will effect how you are perceived. Running this site and many others, I am probably more exposed that most in regard to the number of inquiries and “personalities” I run into on a daily basis.

It is not uncommon for onliners to not like my comments and/or answers when they e-mail me for advice. They get defensive, accusatory and make assumptions about me that have nothing to do with the topic at hand. The last week or so in particular has been a doozey in that regard. Could it be the full moon?

One e-mailer asked about how to setup a certain way of e-mailing inquiry/marketing e-mails on their server. They also mentioned they would use other sites to garner the information for their marketing e-mail.

First off, their inquiry wasn’t about Business E-mail Etiquette — the topic of this site. It was about server functionality in regard to handling e-mails. Even though the question was not on topic, I took time to offer my suggestions. Including, the need to be careful of spamming planned on sending commercial e-mails to contacts that did not specifically and directly asked for information from them.

That’s when everything fell apart! How dare I assume they were spammers!? I didn’t; I just mentioned to be careful. I work with clients every day who assume that publicly displayed e-mail addresses gives them cart blanch to e-mail their commercial notices to those who did not ask for their information.

Then came, “How can I sleep at night treating people this way?”

How can I sleep at night???? Sheesh…

I didn’t assume — I simply stressed a concern based on the information provided. Who is assuming here? And I don’t appreciate being replied to in an inflammatory manner because I simply tried to offer advice based on the content of an inquiry — that had nothing to do with the topic of my site by the way. As far as sleeping at night — I have no problem there thank you very much!

As I always do, I tried to kindly smooth things over. No go. An overreaction of this magnitude was not normal nor based on anything I actually typed. Assumptions were flying everywhere with my character and experienced being questioned with the use of adjectives that were clearly an overreaction.

The lessons to be learned? First, make sure your e-mails are clear and don’t assume the other side knows what you know but didn’t take the time to state. Kindly clarify with the needed additional information if necessary. Don’t read into a reply what simply isn’t there.

Second, if you are on the receiving end of this type of e-mailer, do your best to communicate with the clarity they were unable to offer. If that doesn’t appease realize that there are some e-mails that are just not worth responding to.

To turn to insults and innuendo because you were not clear, may have been innocently misunderstood or because you may not like the advice given, will do nothing but reflect on your lack of professionalism and integrity.

What have you done when you were misunderstood by someone who over reacted and responded with an insulting tone? Were you able to smooth things over?

Some More Info for You:

1. Emailing Others With Your Assumptions