Assuming Gender in E-mail

January 14, 2009 by Judith
Filed under Business E-mail Etiquette, Common Courtesy, Grammar and Verbiage, Q and A

Well, you know what happens when you assume?

I always recommend you do not assume anything when it comes to an e-mail. Assuming never leads to anything positive. If you are unsure; ask.

In the global environment in which we all are now playing, to assume if someone is male or female can cause you to not make a very good impression.

A site visitor writes:

“My name is Nikita. It’s a typical Russian male name, but when I send e-mails to other countries, people got some problems with identifying my gender when looking at my sig. As a result, in response I got the messages starting with “dear ms. Nikita” Can I put “mr” somewhere in the sig to avoid misunderstanding?”

I actually get that too! From people who do not take the time to read my site to know I am a female or those from other cultures that don’t know my name is one only used by females (that I know of). So I get e-mails addressed to Mr. on a regular basis. I wouldn’t let it bother you too much.

Putting a Mr. in your sig file is just fine. However, that may make you appear more formal than you may prefer. If you are a formal guy — that’s O.K. then. I think you have a unique and cool name and if someone misidentifies your gender, simply and kindly sent them straight.

If you are unclear of an e-mailer’s, gender, don’t assume. If it is important to know, then ask. Now that I think about it, I e-mail folks with gender neutral names (Pat, Chris, Kerry, Robyn, Frances, Kylie, Sam, Joe, Bernie) all the time and have never thought of their gender in how I communicate with them. This is certainly an issue for all of us to be cognizant about!

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Comments

3 Responses to “Assuming Gender in E-mail”

Jummy says:

May 3, 2007 at 2:43 am

Great advice! I find my first name, Jumoke, often makes people think of a male so I had to add the “Ms.” to my signature just to make it clear for people.

I figure I can clear up any concerns about formality once we get an email conversation going.
MaryBeth Smith says:

January 14, 2009 at 7:16 pm

Thanks for a great article. As an advocate and ally of the transgender (TG)community, I am particularly sensitive to this issue. What are some other cues a person can give in emails so that readers are encouraged to be in alignment with one’s gender self-identification?
Thanks,
MaryBeth, self-identified genetic female
Judith says:

January 15, 2009 at 10:12 am

Hey, MaryBeth:

Thanks for stopping by! The only way I can think of to indicate gender without actually stating this would be to have one’s e-mail settings reflect Mr. or Ms. — which would take away any doubts or confusion.

I use Eudora (http://www.eudora.com) for e-mail which allows me to have as many “personalities” as I like.
This allows me to reflect my name with different e-mail addresses depending on the site I am communicating on behalf of.

This feature could then be used to have a more formal personality noting Mr. or Ms. and to have a less formal personality setup that doesn’t have the Mr. or Ms.. Once e-mailers become more comfortable and less formal with those who they know are clear on their gender self-identification, they can use the personality that is less formal.

HTH!

At your service,
Judith