Office Email “Gunfights”

In cowboy movies, gunfights usually end when there is only one person left standing.

Office gunfights are a bit different. While not life-threatening, they can negatively impact careers.

You know what I am talking about. Emails that express differences of opinion or misunderstandings between coworkers, or that come from managers who are not yet versed in conveying the proper intent and tone, leading to ongoing back-and-forth.

The conversation then escalates each time the Reply button is hit. Know that striving to be the “last man standing” in an argumentative tone is rarely the desired outcome in business emails.

E-Tattlers

As the “fight” ensues, those less professional gunslingers become apparent. They begin to Cc (or worse, BCc) coworkers or management and e-tattle rather than communicate openly from a place of knowledge and courtesy.

Those who make that play do not realize that doing so will reflect poorly on them. Not the person they are trying to tattle on.

If email discussions ever degrade to that point, it’s time for a face-to-face meeting. Or a phone call, at the very least. Don’t take the bait. (Especially if you are in a customer service role.)

When Discussions Degrade

When you find yourself at the beginning of a gunfight — wait until the next day to reply — if at all. Don’t worry about the expediency expected in business email replies, especially if there is no time-sensitive reason for an immediate response.

If you respond, do so in a non-emotional, factual manner, ignoring the other side’s behavior or lack of professionalism. It is prudent to think before responding, especially when the other side is clearly gearing up for a face-off at high noon.

Hopefully, you are not one of those with a narcissistic personality that commands you to make your point and be the one with the last word. That is not an approach that nurtures business teamwork, relationships, and partnerships. Often, a lack of response is exactly the preferred response until things settle.

“Kill” Them with Kindness

If I communicate with demanding or terse personalities, I naturally “kill” them with kindness. If the gunslinger on the other side has to come back with more vitriol or nonsense to get the last word, I don’t fall into the trap of responding in the same manner.

My ego is not wrapped up in proving I am right to those who don’t know what I do or who lack an open mind to be made aware of information or facts they have not considered. Nor do I have the innate need to get the last word to feel a sense of accomplishment.

Always take the high ground and realize there are good and bad guys in every gunfight. Choose to be the guy wearing the white hat, and your career will benefit from that approach!